please strengthen my heart

'Be of good courage,
and He shall strengthen your heart,
all you who hope in the Lord."
Psalm 31:24

Plans are changing, rather quickly in fact. I had a doctor's appointment today, and, though I don't have my blood test results back from the clinic yet, my doctor did say something is cleary wrong. He also said I shouldn't leave (for Colorado) until I'm well.

I have made the decision not to go. For those of you who are close to me, and have spoken to me over the past couple months about my plans to go out to Colorado Springs with Ricky, you know how up and down it's been in terms of whether or not either or both of us were actually going to make it out there.

Ricky and I have been praying about this for months, asking the Lord to close doors for either of us to get out there if it's the wrong thing for one of us, and if He has something different and something better instead.
Well, it looks to me like the door for me to get to Colorado is being closed.
This is a little bit hard for me to swallow. I was really looking forward to trying something new, going back to YWAM, learning more about my gifts and talents in an environment where growth and spiritual stimulation is constantly challenged. I just don't feel right about going, and so my plans have changed. I believe God has good things for me. I mean, He does promise to have my best interest in mind, according to His riches in glory. I will hope in the Lord and trust that His plan is the best, far better than my own.
Though I'm tired of being in this rut... this place of not having direction, I am excited for what's next and what God has for me.
I know now that Ricky is supposed to be there in Colorado, and that God will use Him there, and teach Him so much. I am excited for him!!

As for me, who knows where I'm headed.

xx