A giant sigh for today

Today is confusing me. I feel miserable. I'm coming down with something...feeling achey and blah, and I have a sore throat. I slept for 13 hours last night, but it didn't do much to help me, it seems.
Tonight there's a pool party for the Static kids. Static is the youth group I've been helping out with here and there. Tonight is the last youth night before summer... so there's a big ol' party for them. To be honest, I feel sick, and tired, and completely unmotivated. I really don't FEEL like going, but I know that it will be good for me to be there. I really do care about these kids and want to hang out with them. They're so sweet. Grades 6 - 8 which is a crucial age... and I like being a small part of their lives.

I tried to keep myself going today. I slept in until around 10:30... which was good because I'm sick, but I really don't like sleeping in. It makes me feel lazy and gross. I mowed the lawn and cleaned the kitchen, painted a picture (which turned out hideous but the point is, I tried.) Now, I'm eating a piece of Margaret Span's delicious raisin toast, curled up on the couch under a blanket because it's so chilly!!

I'm really missing my DTS friends, and I feel like all the things we talked about during our debrief week is finally hitting me. I feel like I'm distracted by the smallest things... like when I try to get with God, something comes up. Every time. I need a breath of fresh air. I need to get out of my little bubble of focussing on myself. I need to get away, and learn what it looks like to be who I am. I also really really miss my girlfriends. All but one are away from home, now. I am so glad Susie Stouffer is around to be my girl. But everyone else is missing from my life, and I can feel it. It hurts. :(

Soon we'll be together, but for now, I just need to keep my chin up and get excited for not only the future, which is looking very bright, but for today. Who knows what can happen yet today, who knows what God wants to teach me. It could be something really good. Then again, it might be something small, and I'll probably go to bed thinking, yup! just another day, the same old story... nothing to write about...blah blah blah... BUT I'll hope none the less. I just need to hope in the Lord, cause I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He's got joy for me, He's good, forever.

I also need a little bit of inspiration...

Wedding video on Eric Whedbee, Vimeo





Our Wedding from Eric Whedbee on Vimeo.