well, well, well

Most of you probably know this already, through word of mouth or whatever else, but since I have been here I have dealt with sickness after sickness after sickness. Bed ridden or hanging off of a toilet for most of outreach, it's been a long haul for me. BUT. Through it all, God has taught me more than I ever imagined He would. In fact, I have gotten to know Him in a whole new level just through being ill so much, and having the extra time to spend in silence, thinking praying and interceding. I have had amazing and intimate moments with Jesus. For a long time, I saw my being sick as a huge burden. I felt like I was useless, there was no point in me being here, and that I was failing miserably at being salt and light. ha. Little did I know, that God had different plans for me here.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Ephesians 12:9
I have tasted the grace of God in a more real, almost tangible sense. I wouldn't trade this experience for any other.

While preparing to come to Cambodia, I tried my best to get rid of expectations. I didn't do a very good job. I came here thinking I didn't have any expectations at all and that I would do whatever came my way. Hmm... I got here, and after a couple of weeks realized that, yes, I had expectations, and yes, they were damaging to my attitude. I was looking for something that just wasn't happening. I wanted to see big things, miraculous things. I wanted to be a part of something dramatic and evangelical--without even being aware of these desires. I suppose, I have glamourized this entire DTS experience a lot in my mind--missions in general. I think that for a long time I've built up this ideallistic mentality of doing cross cultural missions. It isn't easy, it isn't a game, and by no means is it glamourous. I pictured myself coming here and breaking down doors (not literally), changing lives, impacting people in big ways... Sheesh.
The beautiful, suprising and totally exciting thing for me, is that I am not at all disappointed with outreach. Sure, I maybe could have done more, if I weren't sick, and I know that God always has more in store for us, and perhaps I didn't get it all! -- yet! But I sure got a lot of it. God has changed my heart. He has opened my eyes. He has taken me by the hand in an intimate never before way, and for that, I am grateful.
I found out I had a parasite a few weeks ago, and have tried different meds to get better. The first didn't work, and had horrific side effects. ughh. I do not ever want to feel that way again. The second medication worked! I felt better as soon as I took it. My energy levels are up again, I'm outgoing and going out!! I've been hanging out with street kids, talking to people in the city, praying for people, laughing, dancing, being crazy...being myself! It's been awesome. Today I got my test results back from the clinic and there's no sign of a parasite anymore!! I zapped those bugs! Yippee!!

I hung out with some kids in the neighbourhood by Daughters today, and had an amazing time. Met two little girls Srey Ma and Srey Sik, and a little boy named Sol. We took pictures together and played with rocks. So cute!! Srey Ma kept posing like a little model and ended up asking me for money for taking her picture! ha! Sneaky!

Good good good news. My computer. It's fixed. $25 and as good as new. *sigh* I love Cambodia prices.Thank you Lord!

It's so hard to believe that there's only one week left here, and then we head back to Auckland! It has just flown by. It's so wierd to think that just a little while ago I was preparing to go on this big adventure that was my DTS. And now, I only have two weeks left of the school, and it will become something of my past. CRAZY!!!